November 10th - Interview

I’ve interacted with several parents over the course of my time here and this parent’s child stood out as someone who seemed to always have positive energy when around. Thus, I became curious about how he was raised and the potential factors that led to his personality.

Lucas: Thanks for doing the interview. First question - how did you learn or hear about your child’s autism condition?

Parent: He started talking pretty late and his eyes don’t concentrate, whether when talking to someone else or when assigned various tasks that require hand eye coordination.

Lucas: Oh, then what was the diagnosis process like?

Parent: Through the diagnosis process it felt like medical resources/help was pretty scarce. There were only several hospitals we could visit that could help us and they were pretty far, being hard to book as well.

Lucas: So it’s difficult to find proper support when you need it?

Parent: Yeah, there are some organizations that can help you mitigate/control or help cure the autism but they charge hefty prices.

Lucas: I see. How did you and your family feel when you initially got the news?

Parent: Well obviously at the time it was hard to accept. Later we just adapted and got used to it slowly.

Lucas: Alright, so basically it just got better naturally over time?

Parent: Yeah of course, it’s still your own child. No matter what you have to accept them. Even if you don’t accept it his condition will not get better. It’s not about whether or not you accept it that will make things better.

Lucas: Then what’s the happiest part about raising an autistic child?

Parent: There’s not too much to be happy about. The burden is quite high when raising these children.

Lucas: How did raising your son change your view on life/philosophy?

Parent: It taught me to accept the difficulties in life that we have no control over. I never expected to face such a large challenge in the past.

Lucas: I see. Now, suppose we look at society at large. What is something you wish would change about how society views these autistic children?

Parent: I wish they can be more accepting and warm. Right now when we go out in public, whether it’s riding the bus or the metro, there will be some actions from my son that may be deemed weird. And I hope other people can understand my son’s condition more and know that it’s not due to “bad parenting”, it’s just their internal struggles. I wished they were more understanding and had more understanding about their struggles. There should be more awareness about autism. When people see my son they should immediately know that “maybe that child has autism/is special needs so we should treat them with respect and be kind”, rather than associating it with poor parenting. Lots of people have no idea about the condition and assume his parents have failed fundamentally in educating their child.

Lucas: Ohh, but yeah it’s entirely from the birth lottery correct?

Parent: Yeah, we know that but lots of people don’t. You also know. People like you who know about autism won’t have similar kinds of thoughts.

Lucas: Mhm. Do you have any advice to give parents of other special needs childs?

Parent: You still should take your child out and try and integrate them into society. Maybe it’s not the best if your child is stuck isolated at home the entire time. Staying at home will only worsen their condition. Even though going out will create lots of difficulties, I think they are surmountable. Slowly but surely their “weird actions” will become less and less. Each time we’ll encounter new issues to solve that won’t be present at home.

Lucas: What kinds of difficulties?

Parent: For example, how to greet or interact with strangers, how to maintain public etiquette, not making any weird sounds. To be honest they also know that some of their actions are strange but many lack the self control.

Lucas: Oh, so the more times they experience these situations the better they will get?

Parent: Yeah, there needs to be a high volume of experiences. If you don’t go through it many times, there is unlikely to be behavioral changes.

Lucas: I see, thanks for the interview today!